Discouragement has set in. What was I created for? What am I here to do?
I’m passionate. I’m passionate about serving others. Making a difference. Changing the world. I’m passionate about using the gifts God has given me to make a positive impact. Every day. I’m passionate about following God’s call on my life. But what is it?
Today I’m wondering if the call on my life doesn’t depend on whether or not I go back to school. Whether or not I get my dream job. Whether I change career paths a hundred times, or never even have one. I’m wondering if the ultimate call on my life is just to daily affect those in my circle of influence. That small group of people I encounter on a regular basis. God has called me to love them fiercely. Love them in a way that I don’t speak ill of them when they aren’t around. That I defend them. That I forgive them when they haven’t asked to be forgiven–when they don’t deserve it. I am called to show every person I come into contact with a little piece of God. And what a beautiful thought that is. God called me–me, of all people!–to show His light to the world. What a gift! What a treasure! And how beautiful it would be if it were true. If people did see Jesus in me. In the way I speak. In the way I act. In the way I love. Boldly. Without hesitation.
Do I still feel anxiety about the fact that I’m rapidly approaching t w e n t y-s e v e n and am still seemingly aimless? Absolutely. I have some decisions to make. Big ones. Maybe life-altering ones. But I don’t believe God’s plan for me is hinging on which way I go. Whichever decision I make, I will trust it’s the right one.
And in the meantime I will hold tight to God’s promises. I will use them as a lifesaver to keep me afloat. I will remind myself daily that He created me with a purpose. That He has plans to give me a beautiful, bright future (Jeremiah 29:11). And as I search for my future, I will delight in my present. I will squeeze the life out of every single second. And I will love.